Teaching
our children good manners at an early age may solve many problems down the
road. Manners, proper etiquette some would say, may be one of the top lessons a
child needs to learn. As an adult we have to behave in a certain manner. We all
know someone, an adult; we feel has terrible manners or no etiquette at all. Do
you want your children to be one of those adults that everyone avoids because
they don't have good manners?
Not sure what to do or say? Well, just take your time strolling through the information, books and websites listed below. You must understand though that not all of these things will work with every child or even every family. There is one idea that will work every time with every family and with every child.
Not sure what to do or say? Well, just take your time strolling through the information, books and websites listed below. You must understand though that not all of these things will work with every child or even every family. There is one idea that will work every time with every family and with every child.
Make
time for the entire family to be together, to talk and just have fun.
Mind
Your Manners
Do your children "lose it" when you're out in public? You know they can use good manners, but once they step out your front door, does it seem they can't remember anything? Don't worry, you're not alone. This can be one of the most frustrating parts of parenting!
Remember, three important ideas shape good manners--custom, common sense, and consideration.
Custom is the habit of doing things a certain way. For example, in Western culture, most adults greet one another by shaking hands.
Common sense is what makes sense to most people. Ask your child, is it polite to push your way up an escalator just because you want to get to the top faster?
Consideration is thinking about the way the other person feels. Being rude to someone is bad manners--not because a book says so, but because it hurts that person's feelings.
If we teach these basic ideas at home, then our children should behave well in public. But be warned: If you tell your children what they're supposed to do, then fail to practice those rules yourself - well, your children might just do what you do, not what you say.
Practice what you preach
Here are a few suggestions to help you guide your children to use good manners, at home and anywhere else they roam.
General "out in public" manners:
1. Treat everyone with kindness and respect. Don't stare or make fun of anyone, no matter how strange they may look.
2. Put litter in its place.
3. Say you're sorry if you bump into someone or accidentally step on someone's toe.
4. Remember to say please and thank you.
5. Don't walk in bunches so that you block others.
6. If you need to stop and talk, move over to the side away from the flow of traffic.
Tips for parents: Before you go out, talk to your child about good manners and what behavior you expect. If your child behaves in a rude way, lead him away from other people to correct him. Remind him that he gets to go on special outings when he behaves well.
Table manners for kids (and parents):
1. Swallow all your food before you talk.
2. If you put something in your mouth that's too hot, don't spit it out. Instead, reach for your drink and take a quick sip.
3. Ask someone to pass food that is not right in front of you. Don't reach for it.
4. Sit up straight and don't slouch.
5. Chew with your mouth closed.
6. Keep elbows off the table.
7. Food is for eating, not for playing.
8. Ask the server to replace dropped silverware. Don't crawl under the table to get it.
9. Take spills in stride. Let children know you understand their motor skills are still growing. The server will help you clean up.
10. Don't comb hair at the table.
Tips for parents: When dining out, try to keep your meal schedule as close as possible to the one you follow at home. You might try eating a little early to avoid the crowd. If you have younger children, let them sit facing a window, so they will find something to entertain and distract them. If that's not possible, let your children sit by a wall or out of the way of other diners.
Keep in mind that all children need frequent reminders, at home and out in public. Praise your children for using good manners. If you only tell your children what they've done wrong, they have no reason to behave well. After all, you're only giving them attention when they misbehave.
Most importantly, model good behavior. Your children watch everything you do. Teaching them to use good manners is not about impressing anyone. Rather, you are building in your child confidence, awareness, and consideration of others. With these tools, they will succeed wherever they choose to go.
Do your children "lose it" when you're out in public? You know they can use good manners, but once they step out your front door, does it seem they can't remember anything? Don't worry, you're not alone. This can be one of the most frustrating parts of parenting!
Remember, three important ideas shape good manners--custom, common sense, and consideration.
Custom is the habit of doing things a certain way. For example, in Western culture, most adults greet one another by shaking hands.
Common sense is what makes sense to most people. Ask your child, is it polite to push your way up an escalator just because you want to get to the top faster?
Consideration is thinking about the way the other person feels. Being rude to someone is bad manners--not because a book says so, but because it hurts that person's feelings.
If we teach these basic ideas at home, then our children should behave well in public. But be warned: If you tell your children what they're supposed to do, then fail to practice those rules yourself - well, your children might just do what you do, not what you say.
Practice what you preach
Here are a few suggestions to help you guide your children to use good manners, at home and anywhere else they roam.
General "out in public" manners:
1. Treat everyone with kindness and respect. Don't stare or make fun of anyone, no matter how strange they may look.
2. Put litter in its place.
3. Say you're sorry if you bump into someone or accidentally step on someone's toe.
4. Remember to say please and thank you.
5. Don't walk in bunches so that you block others.
6. If you need to stop and talk, move over to the side away from the flow of traffic.
Tips for parents: Before you go out, talk to your child about good manners and what behavior you expect. If your child behaves in a rude way, lead him away from other people to correct him. Remind him that he gets to go on special outings when he behaves well.
Table manners for kids (and parents):
1. Swallow all your food before you talk.
2. If you put something in your mouth that's too hot, don't spit it out. Instead, reach for your drink and take a quick sip.
3. Ask someone to pass food that is not right in front of you. Don't reach for it.
4. Sit up straight and don't slouch.
5. Chew with your mouth closed.
6. Keep elbows off the table.
7. Food is for eating, not for playing.
8. Ask the server to replace dropped silverware. Don't crawl under the table to get it.
9. Take spills in stride. Let children know you understand their motor skills are still growing. The server will help you clean up.
10. Don't comb hair at the table.
Tips for parents: When dining out, try to keep your meal schedule as close as possible to the one you follow at home. You might try eating a little early to avoid the crowd. If you have younger children, let them sit facing a window, so they will find something to entertain and distract them. If that's not possible, let your children sit by a wall or out of the way of other diners.
Keep in mind that all children need frequent reminders, at home and out in public. Praise your children for using good manners. If you only tell your children what they've done wrong, they have no reason to behave well. After all, you're only giving them attention when they misbehave.
Most importantly, model good behavior. Your children watch everything you do. Teaching them to use good manners is not about impressing anyone. Rather, you are building in your child confidence, awareness, and consideration of others. With these tools, they will succeed wherever they choose to go.
Basic
Manners
Manners
are taught as soon as your child understands what you're saying. Also, children
will need coaching and reminders on manners throughout their childhood. It's
best to give positive reinforcement, that is, when your child does something
right, let them know. When your child does something wrong, do not be negative
about it, but gently tell them how it is best done and why.
10 Basic Manners for Kids
1. Waiting their turn and not interrupting other people when they are speaking. No one can be heard if there are too many voices at once. Gently tell them to wait until someone is done speaking, and then ask their question. Be sure and give your child your full attention when you are done speaking so as to reinforce their positive behavior of waiting their turn. While your child is patiently waiting, hold their hand or put your arm around them to let them know you are aware of their presence.
2. No name calling. Even if it's in "fun", name calling hurts. Instead of labels, ask your child to explain what the behavior is that bothers them.
3. Always greet someone when they come over to your house. Depending on your level of formality, you can teach your child to shake hands with adults who come over, but it's not necessary to shake hands with other children. But, your child should always say, "hello" or "hi" when someone visits so that the guest feels welcome.
4. Say, "Please" and "Thank you" often. It shows respect and appreciation. In addition, if they are thanked, then say "You're welcome".
5. Clean up after yourself. Whether at home or at a friend's house, always pick up after yourself. It's their mess, so they need to clean it up. If your child does leave a mess, remind them that they need to clean up before the next activity can begin, and stick to it.
6. Good sportsmanship. After playing a game (sports, cards, board game) , no matter the outcome, be pleasant. If your child wins, tell them to not gloat or show off, but be kind. If they lose, don't sulk or get mad, but be a good sport and tell the other child(ren) "good game" or speak well of them.
7. Take compliments courteously. If someone praises your children, teach them to be gracious and say, "thank you", and avoid putting themselves down or pointing out flaws.
8. Opening doors for others. When going into buildings, allow elders to go first and open the door for them. When preceding others into a building, don"t let the door slam in the face of those behind, but hold the door until the person behind can grab it. Also teach your children that if someone holds the door for them, then remember to say "thank you".
9. Exiting/Entering etiquette. Elevators: allow those in the elevator to exit first before entering the elevator. Same with buildings or rooms - if someone is exiting the building or room through the same door you are entering, let them exit first.
10. Respect differences. When people do things differently from your family because of diversity in culture, race, or religion, then teach your child respect. Point out how interesting it is or how different families do different things. Families have their own traditions or rituals and it is important and has meaning for that family.
10 Basic Manners for Kids
1. Waiting their turn and not interrupting other people when they are speaking. No one can be heard if there are too many voices at once. Gently tell them to wait until someone is done speaking, and then ask their question. Be sure and give your child your full attention when you are done speaking so as to reinforce their positive behavior of waiting their turn. While your child is patiently waiting, hold their hand or put your arm around them to let them know you are aware of their presence.
2. No name calling. Even if it's in "fun", name calling hurts. Instead of labels, ask your child to explain what the behavior is that bothers them.
3. Always greet someone when they come over to your house. Depending on your level of formality, you can teach your child to shake hands with adults who come over, but it's not necessary to shake hands with other children. But, your child should always say, "hello" or "hi" when someone visits so that the guest feels welcome.
4. Say, "Please" and "Thank you" often. It shows respect and appreciation. In addition, if they are thanked, then say "You're welcome".
5. Clean up after yourself. Whether at home or at a friend's house, always pick up after yourself. It's their mess, so they need to clean it up. If your child does leave a mess, remind them that they need to clean up before the next activity can begin, and stick to it.
6. Good sportsmanship. After playing a game (sports, cards, board game) , no matter the outcome, be pleasant. If your child wins, tell them to not gloat or show off, but be kind. If they lose, don't sulk or get mad, but be a good sport and tell the other child(ren) "good game" or speak well of them.
7. Take compliments courteously. If someone praises your children, teach them to be gracious and say, "thank you", and avoid putting themselves down or pointing out flaws.
8. Opening doors for others. When going into buildings, allow elders to go first and open the door for them. When preceding others into a building, don"t let the door slam in the face of those behind, but hold the door until the person behind can grab it. Also teach your children that if someone holds the door for them, then remember to say "thank you".
9. Exiting/Entering etiquette. Elevators: allow those in the elevator to exit first before entering the elevator. Same with buildings or rooms - if someone is exiting the building or room through the same door you are entering, let them exit first.
10. Respect differences. When people do things differently from your family because of diversity in culture, race, or religion, then teach your child respect. Point out how interesting it is or how different families do different things. Families have their own traditions or rituals and it is important and has meaning for that family.
Whether
in a restaurant or in a home, here are some basic table manners to teach kids:
1. Eat with a fork unless the food is meant to be eaten with fingers. Only babies eat with fingers.
2. Sit up and do not hunch over your plate; wrists or forearms can rest on the table, or hands on lap. You don't want to look like a Neanderthal.
3. Don't stuff your mouth full of food, it looks gross, and you could choke.
4. Chew with your mouth closed. No one wants to be grossed out seeing food being chewed up or hearing it being chomped on. This includes no talking with your mouth full.
5. Don't make any rude comments about any food being served. It will hurt someone's feelings.
6. Always say thank you when served something. Shows appreciation.
7. If the meal is not buffet style, then wait until everyone is served before eating. It shows consideration.
8. Eat slowly and don't gobble up the food. Someone took a long time to prepare the food, enjoy it slowly. Slowly means to wait about 5 seconds after swallowing before getting another forkful.
9. When eating rolls, tear off a piece of bread before buttering. Eating a whole piece of bread looks tacky.
10. Don't reach over someone's plate for something. Politely ask that the item to be passed to you. Shows consideration.
11. Do not pick anything out of your teeth, it's gross. If it bothers you that bad, excuse yourself and go to the restroom to pick.
12. Always use a napkin to dab your mouth, which should be on your lap when not in use. Remember, dab your mouth only. Do not wipe your face or blow your nose with a napkin, both is gross. Excuse yourself from the table and go the restroom to do those things.
13. When eating at someone's home or a guest of someone at a restaurant, always thank the host and tell them how much you enjoyed it. At least say that you liked the dinner or mention a specific item that was particularly tasty, i.e. the dessert was great. Again, someone took time, energy, and expense to prepare the food, so show your appreciation.
1. Eat with a fork unless the food is meant to be eaten with fingers. Only babies eat with fingers.
2. Sit up and do not hunch over your plate; wrists or forearms can rest on the table, or hands on lap. You don't want to look like a Neanderthal.
3. Don't stuff your mouth full of food, it looks gross, and you could choke.
4. Chew with your mouth closed. No one wants to be grossed out seeing food being chewed up or hearing it being chomped on. This includes no talking with your mouth full.
5. Don't make any rude comments about any food being served. It will hurt someone's feelings.
6. Always say thank you when served something. Shows appreciation.
7. If the meal is not buffet style, then wait until everyone is served before eating. It shows consideration.
8. Eat slowly and don't gobble up the food. Someone took a long time to prepare the food, enjoy it slowly. Slowly means to wait about 5 seconds after swallowing before getting another forkful.
9. When eating rolls, tear off a piece of bread before buttering. Eating a whole piece of bread looks tacky.
10. Don't reach over someone's plate for something. Politely ask that the item to be passed to you. Shows consideration.
11. Do not pick anything out of your teeth, it's gross. If it bothers you that bad, excuse yourself and go to the restroom to pick.
12. Always use a napkin to dab your mouth, which should be on your lap when not in use. Remember, dab your mouth only. Do not wipe your face or blow your nose with a napkin, both is gross. Excuse yourself from the table and go the restroom to do those things.
13. When eating at someone's home or a guest of someone at a restaurant, always thank the host and tell them how much you enjoyed it. At least say that you liked the dinner or mention a specific item that was particularly tasty, i.e. the dessert was great. Again, someone took time, energy, and expense to prepare the food, so show your appreciation.
Table
Manners
For
informal dining situations, it's okay to rest an elbow on the table if you're
not actually eating. But, if you're eating, then only rest the forearm or wrist
on the edge of the table. One doesn't want to be hunched over their food. At
formal functions, no elbows on the dining table.
Tell your kids that table manners are more than about proper eating, it's about being kind and considerate of others. Also, tell them although you know that they are smart and nice, other people will judge them on how they appear. Having proper table manners is one way people judge others, and they wouldn't want people to think that they're yahoo's, do they?
Whether in a restaurant or in a home, here are some basic table manners to teach kids:
1. Eat with a fork unless the food is meant to be eaten with fingers. Only babies eat with fingers.
2. Don't stuff your mouth full of food, it looks gross, and they could choke.
3. Chew with your mouth closed. No one wants to be grossed out seeing food being chewed up or hearing it being chomped on. This includes no talking with your mouth full.
4. Don't make any rude comments about any food being served. It will hurt someone's feelings.
5. Always say thank you when served something. Shows appreciation.
6. If the meal is not buffet style, then wait until everyone is served before eating. It shows consideration.
7. Eat slowly, don't gobble up the food. Someone took a long time to prepare the food, enjoy it slowly. Slowly means to wait about 5 seconds after swallowing before getting another forkful.
8. When eating rolls, break off a piece of bread before buttering. Eating a whole piece of bread looks tacky.
9. Don't reach over someone's plate for something; ask for the item to be passed to you. Shows consideration.
10. Do not pick anything out of your teeth, it's gross. If it bothers you that bad, excuse yourself and go to the restroom to pick.
11. Always use a napkin to dab your mouth, which should be on your lap when not in use. Remember, dab your mouth only. Do not wipe your face or blow your nose with a napkin, both is gross. Excuse yourself from the table and go the restroom to do those things.
12. When eating at someone's home or a guest of someone at a restaurant, always thank the host and tell them how delicious it was, even if it wasn't. Again, someone took time, energy, and expense to prepare the food, shows your appreciation.
Tell your kids that table manners are more than about proper eating, it's about being kind and considerate of others. Also, tell them although you know that they are smart and nice, other people will judge them on how they appear. Having proper table manners is one way people judge others, and they wouldn't want people to think that they're yahoo's, do they?
Whether in a restaurant or in a home, here are some basic table manners to teach kids:
1. Eat with a fork unless the food is meant to be eaten with fingers. Only babies eat with fingers.
2. Don't stuff your mouth full of food, it looks gross, and they could choke.
3. Chew with your mouth closed. No one wants to be grossed out seeing food being chewed up or hearing it being chomped on. This includes no talking with your mouth full.
4. Don't make any rude comments about any food being served. It will hurt someone's feelings.
5. Always say thank you when served something. Shows appreciation.
6. If the meal is not buffet style, then wait until everyone is served before eating. It shows consideration.
7. Eat slowly, don't gobble up the food. Someone took a long time to prepare the food, enjoy it slowly. Slowly means to wait about 5 seconds after swallowing before getting another forkful.
8. When eating rolls, break off a piece of bread before buttering. Eating a whole piece of bread looks tacky.
9. Don't reach over someone's plate for something; ask for the item to be passed to you. Shows consideration.
10. Do not pick anything out of your teeth, it's gross. If it bothers you that bad, excuse yourself and go to the restroom to pick.
11. Always use a napkin to dab your mouth, which should be on your lap when not in use. Remember, dab your mouth only. Do not wipe your face or blow your nose with a napkin, both is gross. Excuse yourself from the table and go the restroom to do those things.
12. When eating at someone's home or a guest of someone at a restaurant, always thank the host and tell them how delicious it was, even if it wasn't. Again, someone took time, energy, and expense to prepare the food, shows your appreciation.
How to Elegantly Sit and Stand From Chair
1. Walk toward the chair or couch and stand directly in front of it.
2. Without looking backwards or down, back up slightly towards the chair, feel the chair gently with your leg.
3. Then, while keeping your back straight, gently sit down onto the front of the chair.
4. Slide back onto the seat a little more, but keep feet on the floor.
5. Keep your knees together and either tuck one foot behind the other or keep your ankles together. Feet can be slightly to the side.
To stand up, uncross your ankles, place your feet flat in front of you. Slide forward until you are at the edge of the chair. Keeping your back straight, stand up.
1. Walk toward the chair or couch and stand directly in front of it.
2. Without looking backwards or down, back up slightly towards the chair, feel the chair gently with your leg.
3. Then, while keeping your back straight, gently sit down onto the front of the chair.
4. Slide back onto the seat a little more, but keep feet on the floor.
5. Keep your knees together and either tuck one foot behind the other or keep your ankles together. Feet can be slightly to the side.
To stand up, uncross your ankles, place your feet flat in front of you. Slide forward until you are at the edge of the chair. Keeping your back straight, stand up.
Here
are some easy ways parents can help children learn how to greet people
properly.
- Teach your child to look for
the color of people’s eyes.
Young children may feel shy about looking into people’s eyes, and this is a way to help them feel less intimated, says Patricia Rossi, author of Everyday Etiquette. - Stick to small sound bites.
Brief your child right before walking into a store, library, or any other place where your child may meet people, go over some things she can say. Tell her that if anyone asks how she is doing, all she has to do is say, “Fine, thank you.” Giving your child some short and simple sound bites to work with can help her feel less pressured about coming up with things to say, says Rossi. - Be supportive.
Review how things went with your child soon after he greets someone. If he wasn’t able to muster a hello, then reassure your child that you know that he will do better next time. If things went well, tell him how proud you are of him for greeting someone so nicely. Say something like, “You made that person feel so good and brightened their day with your voice,” suggests Rossi.
- Teach your child to shake
hands.
Even kindergarteners can greet someone by shaking hands. Do some role playing to help your child practice shaking hands and have him greet you with a confident handshake. Teach your child to face someone with his bellybutton and toes pointed toward that person when greeting that person. - Tell her to stand.
If your child is seated -- say at a restaurant or on the sofa at home -- and a visitor or an acquaintance comes to say hello, teach him to stand up before saying hello. - Have fun.
Don’t forget to make this about having fun and connecting with people rather than presenting it as a chore kids have to do. Have a little fun while role-playing, and be sure to give them lots of praise. Explain to your child that when she greets people politely, they will reward them with compliments.
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